So. Once while I still lived in Dallas, I was playing in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Yeah. Nerd. Handle it.   Anyway- During this campaign, we generally had a random player show up in some capacity, generally as an extra to fill a role we lacked in our normal party. He was named Alonzo. And Alonzo got to be a pretty stand up guy leading us to one day presume that he should get his own theme song.

So I wrote it.

 

“Pushing Dirt”

the ballad of Allonzo

On the dusty plains of  Cantimore
is where i made my home
i worked the dirt for all thats worth
and also raised a son

we worked the land together
from our tiny 2 room shack
and it wouldve been forever
had those bandits not attacked-

they came to take our lives in fact
they came to take our land
they came looking for a coward;
what they found was a man

Armed with bullet and with tool
armed with grit and nerves of steel
all those bandits got away with was
the taste of my boot heel

[2 bar instrumental]

We ran out hard to meet them
faced those devils on the sand
my boy he  grabbed my rifle
I grabbed my pitchfork and a brand

the battle was ferocious
in the end the day was won
but those bastards cut me deep
those filthy bandits killed my son!

my boy lay dying in my arms
those bandits all around
he lay clutching on to life
they lay bleedin’ on the ground

i told my boy id never rest
while evil was the way
now i hunt down bandits on the plains
avenging  to this day

[chorus]

you best hope thats not me ridin
chasing you across the plains
cause i dont aim low, I do not stop
and Im not takin names
–   And I dont push dirt no more.

[key change]

The promise that I made my boy
it guides me on my quest
bringing justice to the lawless
on the plains out in the west

You folks who’s out there doin wrong
and livin by the gun
youve got until I find you
So you’d best be havin fun

Cause im riding hard to meet you
on a pissed off 2 ton bull
when we catch you theres no barterin’,
no time to play it cool

[..] and when you meet the demon
prince of pain of and of despair
when he asks who laid you flat upstairs:
Allonzo sent’ya there

[chorus-

you best hope thats not me ridin
chasing you across the plains
you called the thunder and I brought it
now youre gonna face the rain

you best hope thats not me ridin
chasing you across the plains
cause i dont aim low, I do not stop
and I aint takin names  – And I DONT PUSH DIRT NO MORE.]