Caffeine and Vinyl
On the record player of the universe sits my record. (and everybody else’s record it’s a pretty complex setup- the universe. Just go with me ok?) There was a hiss and some static and then the music and everything was good. A few times the table got bumped and there have been some scratches but I still spin on except, every now and again, for no discernable reason- I lift the needle and drop it back in the middle somewhere. I am the most annoying DJ everywhere. I refuse to let my song play out. Generally it takes me a while to even notice that ive done it and even when I do I don’t really try very hard to fix it. Im comfortable sliding backwards. I feel like ill get a redo or something. Ive often wished I had moments to live over and I guess by lifting the needle I feel like im making that chance for myself. But it’s a record. I am what I am. And while I am free to change the speed or maybe mix up the order a little if I try really really hard, the songs don’t change. What I figure I need is the will to let it play.
In still other new- Im still offshore. And probably will be through the turn of the year. Im going to miss some very important things. I know the work is important, as is my ability to sustain myself as an adult. But that doesn’t make it not suck, that just means I need to suffer through it because age. These are not new concepts, and still Id rather be cuddle up on my couch with my girl while my kitten attacks my hair until he gets exhausted and passes out in a little coil on my chest and I sip something strong and alcoholic watching a fake fireplace ap on my smarter tv.
I can be shallow too.