I met a mindreader on the train.
At first, I wasnt sure thats what was going on. I just thought it was a weird coincidence that as I was talking in my head to the pretty redhead at the front she glanced up and locked eyes with me for a minute. But then I knew. And we had a conversation. It went like this.
Me: OMG! She can totally read my thoughts! It’s probably rude that I’m talking about her in the third person. But I mean, I could hardly be blamed this is my head- im here all the time so this is just how I talk to myself. I should be allowed a little time to adjust. And plus, How could I be ready for a mindreader out of the blue? I barely have control about the thoughts im *supposed* to have control over! This is just like when people come over to visit but i havent cleaned up. Except they have a key. And the walls are made of glass. And it’s 3:27 am. I am COMPLETELY unprepared. What happens when I start thinking about kittens? Or baboons? Or kittens ON TOP OF baboons! Do I get a pass for all they stray errant weird or inappropriate thoughts I havent learned to control yet? I hope not. Cause she.. (you) are probably a really nice person. Youre probably remarkable even. I bet you play jazz in the evenings while you cook amazing meals and gaze thoughtfully out over your balcony at an amazing view. Or that you painstakingly craft models of sailing ships with a detail most people never even notice. Or maybe you bake wonderful treats for your neighbors to enjoy while you chat about nothing at all before you all go to work. I could really use someone like that in my life.. Let’s start over. My name is Jabari, I think it would be really nice if we got to know each other. I’m headed to work right now, but if you have some time tomorrow morning we could chat again, maybe have some coffee and talk about life on the train or something like that?”
Mindreader: …
Me: …
Mindreader: …
Me: …Bitch.