So. Things. Things over time. Since my last post ive taken some time to get some things laid out. Ive done more experimenting in the kitchen ( and paid the consequences and fines thankyouverymuch), Ive bought a new phone with a new camera that I’ll be learning how to use right here, and ive been very diligently not living – not doing the things i need to be doing that would fill these pages and ive certainly not been telling you about any of it. But I did buy a tiny little keyboard so. Lets just call my stalling done and get to work. Ive been out and about enough to take some photos, but ive not added new content- ive not added much of anything in fact because i feel stalled. And I wasnt sure what would bring me out of that. Im not even sure now, I just.. well.. I felt the need to come clean about the gaps. I dont know why they happen. I wish they didnt.
Heres two things.
Thing 1. Coffee. I had a not great day. Two of my favorite people got angry with me over what was at best a misunderstanding and the result was me almost spending a friday night alone- accept a good friend of mine took pity on me and brough me hugs. Then got us both out of my apartment into the air for coffee. And we could have had coffee anywhere, but she took us out into the wind and the traffic and the closing starbucks crowd which is to say, two people. It let me push my senses against familiar but not known things. The feeling of an order taken wrong, prepared wrong, but with skill- so it tasted okay. The grating feel the sound of high rining metal on metal makes in the rythmic pulse of dish washing, more practice pushing through everything else, to focus on what i wanted to focus on. I needed that. Shelly is pretty good at making me do the things i need to do to make me feel better and fooling me into thinking shes not doing it on purpose. I can appreciate that. As a bonus, she gives wonderful hugs, and I needed one. Kudos.
Thing 2. House Warming. Matt and Brittany Warmed their home and invited me to join them and their friends and family. That was nice. But it was a LOT of people and if youve been paying attention or are psychic you know that I am not always comfortable in large groupe of people im not familiar with. But it got way better. Familiar faces, Brittany’s fantastic food wizardry, and the kindness of strangers. Eventually it got much better and I was sad to go, but hey, duty. I went by my parents who lived a few neighborhoods over and saw my mom and dad and my nephews and we took a drive and during conversations with them, It became apparent that my newphew knew things I wish he didnt have to know. (I talked about it on facebook and I try not to double dip) I love seeing the fam, but that left me a little dimmer than when I got there. But I guess thats whats necessary now.
That wasnt so bad.